Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Adventures in Victoria's Secret

We love Victoria's Secret; laughter always finds us there. You know you are with a true girlfriend when you go lingerie shopping together. Put yourself in our shoes and join us on one particularly hysterical adventure. You might want to grab an extra pair of panties because if you were truly there with us, you probably would have peed in your pants for sure. We both almost did.

Those of you who have either had a baby or have had someone close to you have one know just how much your body changes during pregnancy not to mention childbirth. So much so it takes a LLLOOONNNGGG time for you to get back into your pre-kid body--if you ever do. Needless to say, you aren't going to be there in six weeks, but that is when the doc more than likely gives you the go ahead to, well, you know. So, six weeks after having my first child, my hubby and I planned the perfect date night, which included dinner, a glass--or two, or three--of wine (If you have been there, you know you need that little bit of liquid courage) and giving our new bundle to grandparents overnight for the first time. Are you catching my drift? Even though I in no way, shape, or form, looked like I wanted to look, I still wanted to have that little extra VA VA VOOM for our special night. So, I called up Thelma, and we went lingerie shopping.

So, there we were standing in Victoria's Secret. I had no clue what size or style might fit and look good--oh, okay, I would have settled for halfway decent--on me at this point. Like I said earlier everything seemed to have shifted around--and not for the better. We grabbed so many things, the sales ladies had to think we were going to stuff our purses full while we were in the dressing room. I have no idea exactly how many "outfits" I tried on, but it was getting to the point we were so tired we were delirious. (You know that point you reach when EVERYTHING is hilarious?) Like I said, my body was totally different than it had been pre-baby, and some of the things I put on looked down right awful--to the amusement of us both. So, there we were in the dressing room together already laughing out loud so loudly that we had to be causing a scene, and I had one more outfit to put on. It was one of those that looks so good on the hanger that you pray it looks just as good on you. Well, I don't know what happened--I think it was the material and the fact that it was skin tight and WAY too clingy--but I got it on and knew IMMEDIATELY it wasn't going to work, but, when I tried to take it off, it wouldn't budge. The harder I tried, the worse I made things. By the time I looked to Thelma for help, I had the thing all twisted up, backwards, and inside out. And to top it off, the thing was so tight I couldn't breathe. Thelma and I might have been able to get it off if we weren't laughing so hard. We got it as far has my chest and then it got stuck again. There I was with the bottom half of my chest sticking out and my panties--that was it. You could only be in this predicament and not be embarrassed in the presence of your best friend. By this time we both needed to go bolting for the nearest toilet, but obviously we couldn't. We finally just had to stop trying to get the lingerie off and just stand there and laugh until every one of our stomach muscles ached. You can imagine what people on the other side of the dressing room door had to be thinking. Finally--and I don't know how--we pulled it together long enough to get the thing off.

In the end I did find a cute little number. You'd think after that major escapade we'd never set foot in Victoria's Secret together again. Not so. Just a few months ago we went bra shopping together. We got fitted for the right size bra, which we'd recommend. You know how they say the majority of women are wearing the wrong size bra? We both fit into that majority, and me...I was wearing bras TWO sizes too small. Talk about uncomfy. So, grab your girlfriends and head to the nearest Victoria Secret. You too can create some fun memories.

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