Monday, June 29, 2009

Grab a Kleenex

For us this is an especially touching story; this was the moment, at least for me, that I knew this friendship was going to be life-long. So, grab the tissue; you might need it for this one. If you are feeling "PMS-y" or extra hormonal today, you might read this one another day....

Why is it that even though we know our girlfriends will always provide that shoulder to cry and lean on, sometimes we--for whatever reason--don't chose to take advantage of it? For some girls maybe it's denial that they are in a situation they're in. One of those "this can't really be happening to me" times." For others it might be embarrassment. Maybe you might be fearful that if you tell her about whatever it is that has happened, you will have to face the reality of the situation. For me it was all of the above. But we all know that once we do finally get it off of our chests, our girlfriends seem to make it all better, or, at least, help get us started on the healing process.

The lowest point in my life to this point has been getting divorced at 23. Thelma and I married, within a year of each other, to two men who were good friends --her in May of '97 and me in December of that same year. My ex and I actually introduced Thelma and her hubby and were there when they got engaged. We were all bridesmaids and groomsmen in each other's weddings. Just the type of "couple" friends who thought we'd always be inseperable. Even when he and I had to move to another state, we all remained close. Thelma and her husband's home got destoried by a tornado in May of '99; even though we lived 3 hours away at that point, we were there the next day doing what we could to help. I have no doubt they would have done the same for us.

Then on Valentine's Day of 2000, my now Ex hit me with the news--he'd had an affair. Great timing, huh? As if having the affair wasn't bad enough, why did he have to tell me on V-Day? (Don't feel too sorry for me; I've had plenty of great Valentines days since to make up for it.) For some reason--I still don't really know why--Thelma was the last person I wanted to tell. I think it was the fear of disappointing her mixed in with a lot of embarrassment. Not to mention the I-Can't-Believe-This-Is-Happening-To-Me phase I was going through. It was kind of like having an out-of-body experience for a few weeks. In the back of my head I think I really thought my ex and I would work it all out and then maybe I could get by without having to tell anyone except my immediate family. Long story short, in the end, he didn't want to work it out, and we filed for divorce.

I'm not exactly sure at this point how long it was between the time he broke the news of the affair to me and the time I finally told Thelma. I do remember avoiding her calls for at least a couple of weeks. Finally one day she called my house and I wasn't home. For some reason my dad was there and he answered. He is the one who broke the news to her. I felt terrible that she found out that way--still do. But every cloud has a silver lining, right? Even with my fears, embarrassment, and anxiety, the experience brought us girlfriends closer together. I owe God, my incredibly supportive family, and Thelma for picking me up and carrying me through. I wouldn't be where I am today--happily married, great career, and two wonderful boys--without all of their love.

All of us girlfriends have had those sisters who we can rely on to be there for us through anything. (Even when we are boneheaded enough to hide something from her.) Share your story with us and then pick up the phone, shoot an email, or drive on over to tell her thanks and that you love her.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Things that make you go WHAT?!

So my two-year-old boy has done a few things in his short life thus far to make me wonder if those "gender roles" are nature or nurture. He went through a phase where he LOVED wearing my shoes and if they had heals on them that was even better. One day I even caught him with heals on walking down the hall and carrying my purse. The best one happened just the other day though. He had his "baby" (a teddy bear) and he was pushing it around the house in his own stroller swaddled in a blanket. He got the baby bear out of the stroller, took it to the couch and started whispering to it. Then I heard him say, "Baby hungury; I feed." The next thing I knew he pulled his shirt up and started breastfeeding his baby. Guess they really do watch and listen to every move we make. :) (And yes I got the blackmail picture taken.)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Bouncing Baby Boy

I'm back! And feeling like my hormones are under control--well, somewhat anyway. They are at least better then they were those last few weeks of pregnancy. Yeah! So sorry it has been a while since I have posted anything. I FINALLY feel like life is starting to resemble normal again. I told Thelma just the other day that if I could blog while taking the baby and big boy on car rides, then I'd have it made. It has been crazy; having two kiddos is definitely different than just having one, but that's so another post. :)

Here is my big life update: My second son was born on May 19th. And, I know I am a bit bias, but he is ADORABLE. I'm pretty sure it was the fastest labor and delivery EVER. We actually went in to the hospital at 5:30 that morning for a scheduled induction. But the little man had other plans. At 6:30 right as we were finishing the paperwork and getting situated, the nurse was putting my IV in and I started having contractions on my own. I guess the key for me to go into labor is to actually already be at the hospital. (Same thing happen with my first son--went to the hospital to have something checked and an hour later was in labor.) Short story even shorter--went from a 4 to a 9 in about an hour and had him at 8:54. My doctor informed us that if we have anymore kids, we need to seriously consider scheduling an induction right at 39 weeks because they don't think we would make it to the hospital in time. My docs exact words to my hubby--"She's the kind of woman who would end up giving birth on the side of the road." GREAT! That is my track record though. Carry the baby right up to 39 1/2 weeks and have short labors and deliveries. On one hand it is a great thing--get it over with fast. BUT, on the other hand, labor was especially intense this go around. And here we are a month later and doing well!