Breaking News!

Hello! Thelma here with some breaking news.

Louise had her little bambino this morning! Don't have all the details yet. . . All I know is that she was only in labor for about 2-3 hours! I will post more as I know more.

Congrats Louise & Family!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Hormones. They are funny little creatures, aren’t they? And when you are nine months preggo they are OUT OF CONTROL…literally. Right now I feel like a ticking time bomb. Any thought running through my head is liable to come out of my mouth, which, trust me, is not a good thing. You know that filter we all have—well, most of us anyway—that keeps those thoughts we shouldn’t say in our heads? Mine is just almost gone; I think this baby has eaten it. Oh, and have I mentioned I’m a teacher—to teenagers. Which makes this hormonal imbalance that much more unbearable.

And here’s the deal. I know I am being cranky and ridiculous; I just don’t care. Really I don’t. It’s like the worst case of PMS, ever. My husband, friends, and family will all attest to this. In fact my hubby’s loving (and I use that term as sarcastically as possible) response to me asking him what is wrong with me, was “You’ve been this cranky to me for weeks now.” I’d have smacked him if we hadn’t been having this convo over the phone. Smart man—knew not to say that to my face.

So, in the hopes that venting will release, stifle, kill, destroy, etc. these hormones and in good girlfriend fashion, here is a list of what is irritating me at the moment (Know that this list can change and be added to at any given moment.):

1. Teenagers. That’s probably enough said right there. Normally, I love them, but right now, even the ones I really do love are driving me nuts! I mean how hard is it to get out your novel and read???!!!

2. Other drivers. When you aren’t turning right at an intersection, don’t get in the right hand lane and make those of us that are turning right have to wait through the ENTIRE light for you to get out of our way.

3. Oh, and you have turn signals on your car for a reason. Use them!!!!

4. Technology. Really the only thing I need to do at school is keep my grades caught up for when I do have the baby. (In anticipation of his arrival, everything else is already taken care of.) But, of course, we do grades online now and the gradebook is down. Has been since yesterday afternoon. Seriously, I need it to be functioning!

5. Two-year-olds. I love my son. Wouldn’t trade him for the world. But if he asks me “why?” to one more thing, well, I don’t know what. But I do wonder why I was so anxious for him to talk sometimes.

6. Back to teenagers. What part of “No” is hard for you to understand? Quit arguing with me! That only makes me stick to my guns even more—and that’s on a normal day.

7. My house and the fact that I can’t seem to get it cleaned or organized. I get the front part of it done and then the back half is a mess and visa versa. Does housework ever end???

8. Mail order pharmacies. We are pretty much being forced to start using one, which I HATE. There’s just something about getting to talk to the actual pharmacist and knowing who is filling the medication, you know? But that luxury is not one we can afford anymore. Yet another way insurance is controlling our lives.

9. Body temperature. Apparently this is what menopause will feel like and it sucks. Our thermostat at home is set on about 72 degrees and I am BURNING up. Sweating actually. How ridiculous is that?!

10. Well, I don’t have a number ten and that irritates me!

We're Still Here!

Sorry it's been a while since our last post. Louise, who does most of the blogging, is about to have a bambino any day now so her focus isn't really on the Ditzy Duo right now. She's getting a little impatient and cranky so PLEASE leave a comment giving her some encouragement and cheering on. PLEASE! I don't know if I can take it anymore!!

**Hugs**

Thelma

P.S. We'll have some more hilarity for you soon, I promise!

What Can I Say?

Here is the conversation between my husband (who is sick himself and home with a 2-year-old who was sick but apparently is feeling much better) and I just a few minutes ago:

Phone at my desk rings.

Me: Hello?

Hubby: (in his most "I am not feeling good" voice possible): Can you cancel you dentist appt. after work today and just come home?

Me: I can try to reschedule. Why? What's wrong?

Hubby: I'm just not feeling good, and I am SOOOOOO tired. Oh, and our son is eating trash.

Me: What?! He is eating trash?

Needless to say the appt. was re-scheduled.

Pastry Chefs We Are Not

Leave it to Thelma to come up with the idea to make French macaroons. I mean besides Martha herself, who makes these? It took a little coaxing, but she got me to agree to a girl’s night of baking. And who knew these little treats were so DELICIOUS; I am still craving them a week later. Should you ever decide to be ambitious and attempt to make French macaroons, please learn from our mistakes...


Mistake #1: Not Having the Proper Equipment
YOU WILL NEED AN ACTUAL, FOR-REAL SIFTER . . . you know, the one with the squeeze handle or crank. Don't think you can "make do" with a colander/strainer thing as a sifter. Believe us, You. Will. Regret. It. After making two batches, sifting each one three times, we decided we did not have the patience to be pastry chefs. In fact, I vowed during one of the sifting cycles (while Thelma was desperately calling neighbors to find a good sifter) to never make French macaroons again, but I quickly reneged on that as soon as I tasted them.


Also, if you don’t have the right pastry bag tip, the chocolate macaroons will turn out looking like dog poo (see exhibit 1).


Mistake #2: Mismanagement of Time
Don't attempt this little endeavor when you are on a time schedule. Poor Thelma had to finish baking and cleaning her kitchen without me (which she claims took 2 hours!). We had no idea how long making these jewels would take (in part due to the fact we didn't have a real sifter) and I had to get home to relieve my sitters.


Mistake #3: Being Overzealous
We were so excited about making these delectable desserts that we wanted to try several different flavors. We planned on making a butter cream, a chocolate butter cream, Italian cream, and chocolate ganache filling but only were able to finish the first three (see mistake #2). You should chose one flavor and go with it. In our opinion, the Italian cream filling on chocolate macaroons are TO DIE FOR! That's all you need, we promise.


Mistake #4: Misinterpretation of the Recipe
When using Martha's recipe (which we did), know that when it says it will make 35 cookies, its means 35 actual cookies. Somehow we interpreted this to mean we'd get 70 cookies and then have 35 once they where sandwiched together. My husbands exact words were " You two worked that long and that hard to make three cookies?" Okay, granted we got more than three cookies, it wasn't much more.


We really do plan on doing this again, but next time we will be more prepared. Isn't it true you learn as you go?

Yes, we know, they aren't as pretty as some of the pics you've seen on the web but they sure were tasty!

Adventures in Victoria's Secret

We love Victoria's Secret; laughter always finds us there. You know you are with a true girlfriend when you go lingerie shopping together. Put yourself in our shoes and join us on one particularly hysterical adventure. You might want to grab an extra pair of panties because if you were truly there with us, you probably would have peed in your pants for sure. We both almost did.

Those of you who have either had a baby or have had someone close to you have one know just how much your body changes during pregnancy not to mention childbirth. So much so it takes a LLLOOONNNGGG time for you to get back into your pre-kid body--if you ever do. Needless to say, you aren't going to be there in six weeks, but that is when the doc more than likely gives you the go ahead to, well, you know. So, six weeks after having my first child, my hubby and I planned the perfect date night, which included dinner, a glass--or two, or three--of wine (If you have been there, you know you need that little bit of liquid courage) and giving our new bundle to grandparents overnight for the first time. Are you catching my drift? Even though I in no way, shape, or form, looked like I wanted to look, I still wanted to have that little extra VA VA VOOM for our special night. So, I called up Thelma, and we went lingerie shopping.

So, there we were standing in Victoria's Secret. I had no clue what size or style might fit and look good--oh, okay, I would have settled for halfway decent--on me at this point. Like I said earlier everything seemed to have shifted around--and not for the better. We grabbed so many things, the sales ladies had to think we were going to stuff our purses full while we were in the dressing room. I have no idea exactly how many "outfits" I tried on, but it was getting to the point we were so tired we were delirious. (You know that point you reach when EVERYTHING is hilarious?) Like I said, my body was totally different than it had been pre-baby, and some of the things I put on looked down right awful--to the amusement of us both. So, there we were in the dressing room together already laughing out loud so loudly that we had to be causing a scene, and I had one more outfit to put on. It was one of those that looks so good on the hanger that you pray it looks just as good on you. Well, I don't know what happened--I think it was the material and the fact that it was skin tight and WAY too clingy--but I got it on and knew IMMEDIATELY it wasn't going to work, but, when I tried to take it off, it wouldn't budge. The harder I tried, the worse I made things. By the time I looked to Thelma for help, I had the thing all twisted up, backwards, and inside out. And to top it off, the thing was so tight I couldn't breathe. Thelma and I might have been able to get it off if we weren't laughing so hard. We got it as far has my chest and then it got stuck again. There I was with the bottom half of my chest sticking out and my panties--that was it. You could only be in this predicament and not be embarrassed in the presence of your best friend. By this time we both needed to go bolting for the nearest toilet, but obviously we couldn't. We finally just had to stop trying to get the lingerie off and just stand there and laugh until every one of our stomach muscles ached. You can imagine what people on the other side of the dressing room door had to be thinking. Finally--and I don't know how--we pulled it together long enough to get the thing off.

In the end I did find a cute little number. You'd think after that major escapade we'd never set foot in Victoria's Secret together again. Not so. Just a few months ago we went bra shopping together. We got fitted for the right size bra, which we'd recommend. You know how they say the majority of women are wearing the wrong size bra? We both fit into that majority, and me...I was wearing bras TWO sizes too small. Talk about uncomfy. So, grab your girlfriends and head to the nearest Victoria Secret. You too can create some fun memories.

Macaroons

Hi!

Thelma here. Louise and I are planning on making some French Macaroons next weekend so if any of you have a good recipe, please send it our way. (Maybe we'll send you some if they turn out) ;D