I’m Back! And I’m on a Mission

Let’s not even discuss the fact that it has been FOR.EV.ER. since I last blogged. Or maybe we should. I’m pretty sure I can sum it up by saying two things. 1.) I’m pretty sure 24 hours is not actually 24 hours anymore. You know, the way a half gallon of ice cream isn’t really a true half gallon anymore? And time, it’s just moving faster the older I get and the older these munchkins get. 2.) The other reason I quit got sidetracked with the blogging thing? I felt like I had nothing else to say. I ran out of words. But now I am on a mission. And I have a lot to say.

My mission? To get my family and I eating healthier.

Now, this eating healthier thing isn’t a huge problem for my husband and me. We both like to try new things and don’t mind experimenting. In fact I already have a couple of new favorite recipes that we LOVE that I’ll be sharing. We are really working on lifestyle eating changes. Like turkey burgers or teriyaki chicken sandwiches instead of hamburgers. More veggies and less meat kinds of things.

Now getting the boys to eat healthier? That’s a-WHOLE-nother story.

***insert hilarious, uncontrollable, rolling on the floor cackling here***

Sweetie Pie will sometimes try new things with a little lot of coaxing. The hubs gave him a talk about using his “open-mind” to try new food and to my amazement it actually worked. Go figure. If I had been the one talking, it would have gone in one ear and out the other. All hail kind dad! But I digress.

Boogaboo—where do I even start? He is my picky eater. And that is the understatement of the century. Let me list what he’ll eat. It’s okay. You can keep reading. It is a VERY short list.

Yogurt
Bananas
Crackers
Pizza
Cheese
Corn Dogs
PB & J
Pancakes
Cereal
Pop Tarts
Chicken Nuggets
Hot Dogs
Baked Beans
Spaghetti (Apparently not anymore)

That’s it. We make sure he gets his vitamins because, hello? Not a whole lot of nutrients there. So, I made a decision. I’m going to hide yummy, nutritious veggies and fruits in food. Deceptive? Maybe. Necessary? Absolutely. (See the above list.)

Here’s my plan. I am going to try new recipes and share the results with you guys. Surely I am not the only parent out there who has picky eaters at home. If the result is good, I’ll even share the recipe. I’m helpful that way. Sometimes these will be recipes I have “hidden” fruits and veggies in, and other times they’ll just be recipes that the hubs and I (and maybe Sweetie Pie—fingers crossed) are eating to be more healthy. and recipe might be a term I’m using loosely. Sometimes “instructions” might be a better word.

It’s going to be a journey folks. Probably an imperfect one. And I’m starting now.

Jami

PS—Boogaboo just ate pumpkin muffins made with spelt flour! Hello Vitamin A and fiber.

Perspective & Opportunity

I am heartbroken for another Oklahoma family. When the tornado went through our metro area this past Tuesday evening, a Piedmont family lost not only their home, but two young sons as well.

This is the story as I know it. I believe it to be accurate, but I’m piecing it together from various sources.

The father of the family was out of town. As the storm approached the mother, who is pregnant, took cover in the family’s bathtub (which is recommended procedure if you can’t get underground) with her three children. When the half-mile wide tornado hit, it tore their home apart and ripped the 3 year old boy from his mother’s arms.  I know the mother is is critical condition & has undergone several surgeries already. They did find the baby’s heartbeat. The 5 year-old daughter is in serious condition, but she is expected to be okay. The 15 month old boy did not make it. About 36 hours after the tornado the body of the 3 year old was finally found.

You guys, I can not fathom what this family is going through. Can. Not. I have cried numerous tears for this family. This family I do not know. I broke down in my kitchen and sobbed uncontrollably yesterday. I feel a kind ship with this mom because our boys where close to the same ages.  My heart is heavy for them.

This family’s story has given me a healthy dose of perspective. I have hugged & kissed on my boys so much they are sick of it. I have a thousand times more patience with them than I was having. It has been a reality check to me about just what precious gifts my boys are. I cherish the time I have with them. Really cherish every minute. That word—PERSPECTIVE—has constantly been in my head.

Also?

I want to help. But where do you begin? So, I did the one thing I could & prayed for them. And I will continue to do that.

But yesterday another opportunity presented itself. And the best part is that you can help too. This might be a pipe dream, but it is worth a shot. This community is pushing to get Extreme Makeover Home Edition (EMHE) to build this family a new home.

Here’s where you come in.

Go on over to EMHE’s facebook page. On the left hand side of the page you will see a discussions link. Click on it & find the discussion titled  “Help Rebuild the home of the Hamil Family” & and a reply in support of this family. (There are several discussion threads for this family, PLEASE find the one by this title because I believe that is the only one that counts as far as nominations go.)

That’s it. In as little as 5 minutes you could do a small part in helping this family begin to piece their life back together. The question is,

Will you?

***PLEASE PASS THIS INFORMATION ALONG TO ANYONE & EVERYONE. THIS FAMILY NEEDS SUPPORT.***

Loosening Apron Strings

They took off.

The kids—Sweetie Pie & his twin 10 year old cousins—took off in a sprint down the uncrowded path of the River Walk. Blurs of brightly colored shirts & their blonde hair streaked in my line of view. And just as that momma freak-out, panic feeling started creeping in & I was about to yell screech for them to come back, they all stopped, as if on cue, & looked back to let us all catch up. 

They were never in any danger. They weren’t running over other people on the path.  They didn’t get very far ahead of us…maybe 40 feet ahead. They were just being kids letting some energy out.

And my inner helicopter mom was beginning to surface. I was hovering—or about to hover.

It was then I realized that my 4-year-old is growing up. Sweetie Pie is capable of much more than I give him credit for. Than I’m ready to give him credit for. These years are going by in the blink of an eye.

He can run with his cousins. No problem. He isn’t going to fall into the river. He can hang upside down on the railing of the stairs without falling. He can slide down those same rails. He can play rough & be fine.

As much as I want to stop the clock, as much as I want him to be little forever, it’s not going to happen.

It’s ALREADY time for me to BEGIN to ever-so-slightly loosen the apron strings. Which isn’t going to be easy.  Because , you know, we all have the helicopter mom in us. I now have to control her.

The Magic Spacing Number

And last, but certainly not least in this guest post series is Chantelle. She is a mom, wife, & florist. She has a new feature on her blog called Conversations With My Kids that I am loving. Venture on over and check it out.

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I’m so excited to be guest posting here at Boy Crazed Mama. I hope Jami is enjoying her vacation. I’m Chantelle from Mom Went Crazy. As the name implies my kids drive me absolutely nuts. They’re clearing a space for me at the loony bin as we speak. I mean they’re cute and everything, but...well, you know.

I have two daughters. Emma is three and Sophie is six months. They are two years and eight months apart in age.

I think this is the absolute pinnacle of child spacing. I don’t think I could have them any closer in age without involving some serious drinking binges, medication or some sort of therapy.

My husband, Mike, wanted our kids spaced further apart. I said no and went off birth control. He vowed not to sleep with me until six months later when he thought we should start trying. I was pregnant seven weeks after that conversation.

For anyone else considering the 30 to 38 month window of child spacing, here is some food for thought.

I love a good list, don’t you?

Pros

· Emma is old enough to understand the word ‘no.’ Not that it matters.

· She knows that the knife drawer is not for playing in.

· She knows you don’t drink the ‘blue juice’ under the sink.

· When the baby needs to be put down for a nap, or eat, or mom needs to make herself a mid-morning martini, I can put on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and know that she’s not going to kill herself in my absence. FYI – that martini makes the ‘hot dog dance’ so much more fun.

· Emma is old enough to know how to be gentle without maiming Sophie. This means mom can pee without having to bring the baby in for safekeeping. Although an audience usually ensues regardless.

· Emma will be out of the house when Sophie starts driving so I won’t have two kids fighting over who gets to take the car.

· They are close enough in age that they can play together. Alone. More martini time for mom.

· Emma can talk really well so I’m not left guessing what a toddler wants while holding a screaming baby.

· Emma is totally potty trained. This knowledge makes me feel good on days when Sophie craps up her back. (You know what I’m talking about.)

Cons

· Emma can open a door. Not cool when you’re nursing a baby and your three year old runs out the front door. Forget babyproofing, I need to preschooler proof that shiznit.

· Just when I got finished with diapers, I had to start all over again.

· Emma doesn’t nap anymore. There is No. Alone. Time. Ever. From six in the morning until eight at night those bitches own me.

· Emma can reach things and can find ways to get at what she can’t reach. Have you ever walked in on your three year old putting lipstick on your baby?

· She can talk which may prompt her to say things to strangers like “Mommy has milk in her boobies.”

· They’re close enough in age to gang up on us.

What do you think? Don’t agree? Think I’m a genius? Let me know!

Kids. They Can Drive You CRAZY…

…especially when the snow keeps you
cooped up in the house for days.

Welcome Sandi. She is a crafty SAHM to a 6 year-old boy who clearly had to spend too much time indoors with him during those 2 weeks of snow we had in our neck of the country.  I was totally there with her. Those days we were snowed in were crazy. My boys needed to go outside BADLY. Almost as badly as this momma needed them to go outside.

Sandi blogs over at CraftingWithRHINOS.

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When I volunteered to share a story with Jami's followers while she was on her family vacation, so many crazy adventures came to mind. You see, I grew up in a family that loved travel. My grandparents had an RV and took us on fabulous trips all over the United States. It was miserable being cramped in such a small space for hours at a time, but also very fun.

I started by making lists of some of my favorite excursions, and soon had pages written with all sorts of hilarious stories I could write about. Narrowing it down became frustrating, especially with my 6 year old son high on cabin fever.

Being trapped in our house during all of the winter weather we have been "blessed" with, along with his nasty cold, has had him poking at my nerves with imaginary thumb tacks. Inevitably, I started daydreaming of far off (and somewhat horrific) places that I could ship him off to.

You understand.

I know you have spent moments wishing your kid(s) were anywhere but where you are because they were making you want to shave your head bald.

Ok, so maybe that is just me. The bald part.

So the daydreams started coming more frequently as I found myself trying to hide from him (and sometimes his friends) in my own house. That's when I began writing down some of the more "unfortunate" destinations my mind had been plotting for him.

Here are just a few:

• Trekking through the Sahara, with a bottle of what appears to be water dangling mere inches from his grasp. Only to find out after reaching and gulping down half, that it was filled with donkey sweat.
• Being made to pick up glitter (one piece at a time) after a Martha Stewart taping, to be allowed entrance to LegoLand. And then finding LegoLand had been closed down forever.
• Be given the keys to drive a race car at the Indy 500, but every step he took towards the car, it would get smaller and smaller. And when finally reaching it, it poofs into a pink Barbie corvette toy.
• Letting him loose in a video game store, with an unlimited shopping spree card. But finding all the game cases to be empty, and all the game stations not working.

You get my drift. I am diabolical. I truly do love my son, and don't actually wish him any harm. Most of the time. But this last week has been the bane of my existence! But I do thank you for letting me stop by, and hope that none of you actually never get the chance to piss me off!

Footprints in the Sand

Meet my friend Zelma. She lives on an island. A tropical one. Puerto Rico to be exact. Yes, I am jealous. Very jealous. How I’d love to dive there! And? Zelma bakes. Sweet, sugary, yummy things. Should I ever make it to Puerto Rico I will meet Zelma, eat her baked goodies, & dive those beautiful waters.

And, Zelma, thank you for your kind words about some of my posts.

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I met Jami a few months ago through Twitter, and we have become good “virtual” friends. We have a lot in common, as we both have a 4-year-old son. She was also fortunate to have a second son; after my miscarriage 2 years ago, I’m still working on that. I also love to read her blog. She has an awesome sense of humor and a huge heart. She has made me laugh (read: “Say No to Double Strollers”) and she has made me cry (read: “Wawk”). She is also a very loyal friend who would stick by you and offer her unconditional support when you need it (read: “Moms: Let’s Stop Judging Each Other”). Ohh, and even more that we have in common? We both hate shopping and bad drivers!

I also love the fact that she’s a teacher. True, she may be a SAHM now, but once a teacher, always a teacher. I love love LOVE her Tots & Teens Thursday series, it has given me a lot of tips on how to work with lil man, especially getting him motivated to read. It is usually very hard to get him motivated to do something, especially something new. I think he gets embarrassed that he will fail at whatever he needs to do, and simply refuses to try. He doesn’t have any diagnosed disorder, but he does have a bit of delay in his neurological development, which has affected his thought process, as well as his fine and gross motor skills. He is getting weekly Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy sessions at home, and I have to say, they’re not always good sessions. He started about 8 months ago, and he has made a lot of progress, especially in his motor skills, which has greatly improved his self-esteem.

But lately? Not very cooperative. He used to love both his therapists, and would even go outside to their cars to pick them up every time they came by. Now it’s a crying fit every time they get here. I think it’s because now the exercises are getting harder, and he doesn't want to do them. Right now I can hear him talking to his Occupational Therapist in the other room, and after she managed to calm him down, their conversation was hilarious!

Her: Hey lil man, want to take off your shoes for your massage?

Him: No.

Her: Why not?

Him: Because it’s cold.

Her: OK, let’s turn the fan off. {massaging his feet with a scrub} Does this feel as hard as last week?

Him: No.

Her: Good! Maybe next time you go to the beach, you can walk in the sand without your shoes.

Him: I can’t!

Her: Why not?

Him: Because the sand is hot.

Her: OK, so maybe in the afternoon when it’s not so hot.

Him: No, the sand is hard, and gets in my toes. Then it’s hard to clean it out.

Her: But your mom can help you clean it out. Besides, getting dirty is fun!

Him: Uh-uh! No it’s not! Why are we talking about this? I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

I swear I’m not making this up! I *just* heard this conversation right now! This is the kind of discussions that he has EVERY SINGLE TIME! If I overlook the fact that he’s being incredibly difficult, I would say that they’re totally hilarious! His therapist tells me that he will make an excellent lawyer. I just hope he doesn’t drive me nuts in the process.

Being A Boy Mom

Meet Julie. She is a fellow boy mom. Her Brayden is about the same age as Boogaboo, so we have shared quite a few of the same toddler woes—hello, picky eaters-- together. In this post, Julie asks a good question:

How do we let our boys be boys without letting them be bullies?

Julie blogs over at Back to the Basics.

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When Jami needed a guest blogger, I was all over it! I mean, Boy Crazed Momma? It pretty much sums me up at this point. My son Brayden is 19 months old, and I am expecting baby #2 in early October. Obviously, we don't know the baby's gender yet so for now? It's all boy stuff around here. Tonka Trucks, car, planes, trains, blocks, etc. All boy.

And with that comes destruction, throwing, wrecking, destroying, and trying to find my sanity. I mean, I know that boys "generally" play rougher. Brayden knows he needs to be gentle with the cats. But everything else? Fair game. I am all about letting him explore that side of him and since we have been cooped up due to the snow, sometimes knocking down towers gets out some of that built up energy. But a couple of weeks ago, my views were changed slightly.

It was when my mom took Brayden with her to Bible study. She said he could go to the nursery and that it would be really good for him since we are having a hard time with him staying in there during church. There were 2 girls in there playing with a dollhouse and Brayden walked right up to the dollhouse and just smacked his hand, taking out all of the dolls and their little accessories. My son does not know gentle in relation to other kids, and quite frankly, how would he? He is either with me or my mom and dad, playing mostly by himself with no one to share with. This really bothered me- I certainly don't want to be raising a bully. And when things get out of hand at home, I feel like I have been handling it well. This scenario made me think about how I really am handling it at home and if I am doing the "right" thing. It was definitely an eye opener for me, and although at this point I am not sure what to do about it, I know that I need to do something. I need to find the balance between being a boy mom and not raising a bully.

They say that boys will be boys, but will toddler boys ever figure out how to play nice? So far, I am not convinced. I guess we will see what happens!

11 Step Program to Becoming a Parent

***DISCLAIMER: I DID NOT WRITE THIS MYSELF.***

The following is an email I have received 3 or 4 times now, and it cracks me up every time. Because it is so true! I wish I knew who to credit for writing this. I really do. He or she needs some kind of an award. Go use the bathroom first. I about wet my pants when I read this.

This is so true…

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Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

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Are you wiping away the tears of laughter yet? My favorite one is the grocery store one—and the full grown goat. I can really appreciate it now that I have a 4 year-old & 20 month-old. My favorite when I had itty bitty ones was the octopus & mesh bag. Seriously, a big thank you to the author, whoever you are!

Which ones can you relate to best?

Lesson Learned

I don’t know why. I have no good reason. But I never believed that kids could pull furniture down. Just seemed impossible to me.

Until my boys did it.

I was loading the dishwasher, & I heard one of my boys cry out from the back of the house. The water in the sink was running so I couldn’t tell which boy it was, but I thought they were playing and one had taken a toy or wrestled the other too much & the cry was just a protest cry. The tattle cry. Not at all uncommon around our house.

And I only had a few more dishes to load. So I finished.

As soon as I turned the water off, I heard the cry again. This time I knew it was a distress cry.

And I ran.

To the back of the house.

To Sweetie Pie’s bedroom.

To the cry that was Sweetie Pie.

As I entered his room, where I should have seen the blue wall opposite the door, I saw wood. The pine, stained wood of the chest of drawers. Laying at a diagonal. The top resting on the foot board of the bed.

Everything normally on top of the chest was thrown across the bed. The blocks that spelled Sweetie Pie’s name. The clothes I had folded earlier but hadn’t had a chance to put away yet.  The pictures of my boys.

All I could hear was the cry of my son.

I couldn’t see him.

I had no idea where Boogaboo was.

Panic filled my blood. I felt it in my entire body as my heart rate rose.

I heard movement to my right. A quick glance revealed Boogaboo standing there. Safe.

My mind raced. I could hear Sweetie Pie but could not see him.

After what was hours in my head, but what was only mere seconds in reality, I heard a “I’m alright, mommy.” through his tear-strained voice.

It was then I looked under the chest of drawers and saw him. Crouched down on the floor.

Unharmed.

I later found out he had climbed up the drawers to reach something he wanted on top of the chest & pulled it over in the process.  Thankfully, he had the where-with-all to drop to the floor when it started falling.

I sat and held my boys for a long time after that. Ever so thankful the situation was not worse & neither of my boys were harmed. We came away scared but smarter. The only physical damage done to the furniture itself.

Needless to say we will be securing the furniture to the walls.

Learn from my mistake. Because I can’t stop thinking about how much worse it could have been.

Crazy Shoe Day…

…well, okay, morning.

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Elena over at Mommy is in time out! had an idea that hit me smack in the face when I read it.

S-M-A-C-K. 

The premise is this:

Make a point to have some crazy mommy fun with the kids.

You see? I find myself forgetting to have fun with my boys sometimes. I get so wrapped up in the day and getting through it that I forget to actually enjoy the day. Laugh with my boys. Be crazy with them. Create memories.  This is something I continuously work on.

This morning opportunity knocked & I went with it. We were headed to the store and Sweetie Pie could only find one tennis shoe. The next thing I knew he had a flip flop on the other socked foot. My first inclination was to make him change shoes—you know to matching ones—but instead I went with it. He went to the store in his crazy shoes. And he loved it!

And then when we got home we all had crazy shoe day. I only wish I would have thought to change Boogaboo’s and my shoes to crazy shoes before going to the store.

What are some crazy mommy things you have done with your kids to have fun?

Hmmm, Something is Wrong with this Picture

This is what happens when you hand a silly 4 year-old clothes & tell him to get dressed. Jeans on head, shirt on legs, & socks on hands. (Sorry the quality of the picture is pitiful. All I had handy was my iPhone. This was too cute not to share.)

Pregnancy Amnesia

Fancy meetin’ you here. I am guest posting today over at Peanut Butter in my Hair. Melissa just had a baby girl last week & thought she might need a little help with some blog posts while she adjusts to being a mom of three kiddos. I can’t imagine why. Can you?

My BFF, Heather, is pregnant with twin GIRLS (Just found out they are girls last week.) and then several of my online friends keep coming up pregnant. And then there are Melissa and a few others who have freshly baked newborns at home now. Maybe there’s something in the cyber water??? Just pass my cup along please. I won’t be partaking. Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited for my friends & over the moon excited for Heather, but this baby factory is closed. God willing.

But there are a few things I loved about being pregnant. A few. And that’s what I am writing about over at Melissa’s place today.  What I miss about being pregnant. Now bring your coffee along & join me over there, please.

Tots & Teens Thursday: Teens & Reading

Welcome to the beginnings of Tots & Teens Thursdays. If you missed last week’s post, I discussed reading to your tot. This week I am expanding some of those ideas to teenagers & I’m including some new ones.

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I’ll be the first to admit that I do not have a teenager in my house. But I did teach middle school for 12 years. These ideas stem from both that experience as well as ingenious parents who shared ideas they used in their homes.

So, how do you encourage your teenager, who might be reluctant (or downright obstinate), to read? 

Let’s be honest. It’s safe to say most teenagers are not big readers. Most. They aren’t going to choose to spend their free time engrossed in a book. This is especially true at the middle school level. And especially true for boys. I will say this. The more ownership kids  have in what they read, the more likely they are to read it. (Read: Give them choices in what they read when at all possible.)

Here’s the good news. If your child loved to read in their elementary days, that love will more than likely return…eventually. 

But, in the interim, there are things you can actively do at home to help promote reading.

1) Model. Model. Model. Your kids need to see YOU reading. Book, newspaper, magazine, Kindle. Doesn’t matter. They just need to see that it is a priority for you. This will not make an immediate impact, but they’ll refer back to it later in life.

2) Go on a hunt for reading material. As a reading teacher, this was key to getting my reluctant readers to read. Find SOMETHING. ANYTHING. they are interested in reading. It might be a reallyyyyyyyy long hunt, but don’t give up. There is bound to a magazine, type of book,or particular author your child would like. I will get a page up soon of titles & authors that have proven to be good starting points on this hunt. Other good sources for reading suggestions? English teachers, librarians (both school & public), your kid’s friends, & your kid’s friends’ parents.

3) Have a reading community in your home. Yes, your teen is going to bock at this. You might even have to force this on them. But if your are reading this prior to your kids being teenagers, start this early. Then it’s just something you do as a family. Ideas straight from parents of middle school kids…

--Have a set family reading time. Everyone sits in the living room together each with their own reading material & reads. Same time. Everyday. For a set period of time. When you first start this, the it might be for just 15 minutes. Gradually work up to 30 or 45 minutes. Maybe bigger chunks of time on the weekends.

--Keep at home library & visit your local library. This doesn’t have to be extensive, but have some books for you & your kids in your house. Kindles & Nooks have made this easy, but I’m guessing if your teen isn’t a reader, he or she doesn’t have one of those. Utilize your public library as well. A plethora of choice awaits there. Remember the importance the role of choice has in your child’s desire to read. (And by the way, the choice doesn’t have to be extensive. Pick 3 or 4 books you have had recommended to you for your teen & let them choose from those.)

--Conduct a family book club. If you find a book that everyone in the family would enjoy reading—or halfway enjoy, as the case my be—read it as a family. Make a reading schedule together. Decide that you all are going to read the first 2 chapters by Thursday night & then instead of reading during your family reading time, you are going to have a book discussion. I know this sounds cheesy & you’re thinking ::Yeah, like my kid is going to discuss anything with me, let alone a book.:: Give it a try. You might just be pleasantly surprised. Think about how much more you enjoy what you are reading when you have someone to discuss it with. You will have to drive the discussion, of course, but the more you do this, the better everyone will get at it. And if a book is too daunting to start with, maybe find a newspaper or online article to use before moving to a book.

Conclusion?

The most important thing you can do for a teenager who doesn’t enjoy reading, is to help him or her find their niche. Hunt until you find it. I am a firm believer that those who don’t enjoy (or at least tolerate reading) never found what they like to read. So, be on the look out for magazines about anything your child is interested in. Books by authors their friends are enjoying. Books where the main character plays the same sport your child plays. Check out graphic novels. Anything you can grasp onto to pull your child in. All in hopes of finding something he or she will never put down.

My Tender-Hearted Boy

Dear Sweetie Pie—

At just 4 years-old, it is becoming more & more obvious that you have a precious, sensitive, &  tender heart. It is one of the qualities I love most about you.  You want to make everyone feel special.

Those Handy Many tools? You think we all have a favorite one. In your eyes Turner is Boogaboo’s favorite, Philippe is Daddy’s favorite, Rusty is your favorite, & Squeeze is my favorite. If you find any of these tools out of our reach, you will bring them to us. I was napping the other day, & you brought me Squeeze. I woke up with him next to me. You will spend hours searching for a particular tool just so one of us can have it to hold. I think that you think they are our comfort objects , & you don’t want us to be without them. It is precious.

The other day you shared your pop tart with your brother. Without me asking you to. Today you shared your muffin all on your own because you knew it would make him happy. 

The empathy I see developing in you each day makes my heart proud. You, my sweet, sweet son, are making momma proud. I hope you always want everyone around you to feel special and loved.

XOXOXO~
Mommy

Little White Lies

I catch myself doing it all the time. Telling Sweetie Pie those little white lies. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones that are just easier than explaining the actual truth.

You know.

Like telling him a light switch is hot.  Now let me explain that one.

The switch was on the side of a kitchen island at my friend’s house. We’d gone over there for a play date. That switch turned on the garbage disposal. So, when Sweetie Pie kept trying to flip it on, I was telling him not to.

He asked me why.

I told him he just didn’t need to do that.

Then he asked me, “Is it hot?”

Yes! Yes it is hot son.

See. Sometimes the simplest answer—even if not exactly the truth-- is just easier.

Maybe that’s just me being lazy & not wanting to explain every little detail to him.  And maybe it’s just me being realistic & knowing that he isn’t going to understand the truth.

Which leads me to the question. Do you tell little white lies to your kids?

The Elephant in our House

Y’all, I’m in trouble. Sweetie Pie is too smart for his own good. He has the memory of an elephant. He is not a child who you can just wave off with a random statement of  “Oh, we’ll go to Sonic tomorrow.” Because tomorrow will come, & I GUARANTEE he will remind you that you said you’d take him to Sonic. And then you will have to get yourself & 2 kiddos dressed & out of the house to go get a drink. Pain. In. The. Boo-Tay.

Take this past Thanksgiving for instance. We actually had turkey dinner with my family TWO weeks BEFORE the holiday. During this time my mom told little Sweetie Pie that she wanted to take him to see Santa before Christmas. And, honestly, we talked about it for maybe two minutes & moved on. Two minutes, folks. Stressed the Santa visit would be after Thanksgiving. That was it. Moved on.

Fast forward to FIVE days before CHRISTMAS. No mention of Grammy taking Sweetie Pie to see Santa since our Thanksgiving dinner. None. Now, I had taken both him & Boogaboo to get their picture taken with Santa, but that was it. So, the Monday before Christmas COMPLETELY out of the blue, Sweetie Pie & I have this convo:

Sweetie Pie: Momma?

Me: “What, babe?”

Sweetie Pie: “Can we call Grammy & see when she is going to take me to go see Santa?”

Are you kidding me kid???!!! How in the world do you even remember that she said she wanted to take you?!

So, we called Grammy and she & Grandad took him to see Santa that night. Only the line was wrapped around the store, so they were finally able to convince Sweetie Pie with a promise of pancakes for dinner that writing a letter to Santa would be sufficient . And then they went to IHOP, where my child hopped the entire way to the table because he thought he had to in a place called I-Hop.

But that’s another story….

My kid obliviously got his memory from his daddy’s side. Because me? I can’t remember squat.

How We Spent Our Day

The boys and I were cooped up all day today because of ice & we didn’t get out of the house yesterday either. The cabin fever hit this morning. Sweetie Pie was the kind of wound up that only being outside can cure. So, I did the only thing I could think of to do. Brought the outside in.

This monstrosity took up the ENTIRE living room floor. I had to move the coffee table & an ottoman out to get enough floor space for this thing.

Can you see the energy burning off of him?

Almost worn out….

And we’re there. Energy gone. Mission accomplished.

Which Is Easier?

The age-old question. Who works harder? Moms who work outside of the home or moms who stay at home?

I have been in both positions, so I feel like a have somewhat of a unique perspective.  I worked teaching middle school before even getting married and having kids. I continued to work the first 3 years of Sweetie Pie’s life. And it was hard. exhausting. draining. My day was nonstop from the moment I got up until the moment I went to bed. I kept thinking how much better & easier it would be if I could be a stay at home mom. I could be with my boys all of the time. My house would always be clean. The laundry and dishes always done & put away. The boys would be eternally happy. Ahhh, the PERFECT set-up. And then out of the blue, the opportunity came. I was going to quite my teaching job & spend the days with my boys.

Then reality hit. Staying at home? EVERY. SINGLE. BIT. as hard. exhausting.draining. as working outside of the home. But in a different way. And, as SAHMs out there will tell you, I was totally delusional in my thinking. My house is messier now & I clean more often because we are always home. Making messes. Dropping crumbs. Tracking in mud. Dirtying dishes. Dragging out toys. When I worked my house was always messier on the weekends. Now it’s like those weekends everyday. And those demanding pesky adorable little kids? Well, they want your attention. So you don’t have all the time in the world to clean. And? Don’t get me wrong. I love being at home all the time with my boys. Love it. But, think about. I’m at home with my boys all of the time. It’s both incredible & nerve-racking. All at the same time.

Honestly? 

I think sometimes we all suffer from the grass is greener syndrome.

I think neither kind of mom has it easier than the other.

I do think each being type of mom has it’s advantages & disadvantages. So, here I give you my charts. Tada! Are you impressed? (And this is, of course, how I see things. After all my blog, my opinion, right?)

Working Outside of the Home Mom

Pros	Cons
extra income	away from your kids/feeling like you missed things
break from kids	hard to find time to run errands
adult interaction	every minute of your day is planned
household duties shared more

 

Being a Stay at Home Mom

Pros	Cons
with your kids 24/7—don’t miss things	with your kids 24/7—no break
flexible schedule	might be expected to do all household duties
have time to go to the gym/workout	one income
have time to run errands	lack of adult interaction
no daycare expense	sometimes underappreciated

You may totally disagree with me. I’m cool with that. We are all entitled to our opinions. Like I said, these are just my thoughts & realizations after having walked in both shoes. And I’m sure there are things I haven’t thought of. What would you like to add to my lovely charts?

My conclusion? I realize not everyone has a choice on this issue. We were that way for years. But, me? I wouldn’t go back to work right now if you paid me. ::giggle::

But I’m fortunate enough to have that option. And I don’t fault any mom for any decision she makes (or is forced to make) on this particular issue.

And those moms that work at home? Well, I’ve not been there, but my guess is that position has its pros and cons as well.

*The word mom everywhere in this post could very easily be replaced by the word dad. I know they stay at home too.

Savor the Moment

This is supposed to be a random topic post. One about the random topic of egg yolks given to me on Twitter today. But I feel I need to write about something more than that right now. (But I do have something to say on that topic. I’ll tuck it away for now.)

Instead I need to write about something that has been heavy on my heart lately. Something I have been focusing on & working toward. Something I need to write to myself.

Savor the moment.

Let it sink in, Jami.

Savor the moment.

Oh, how I want to freeze time at moments like these. The ones when the reality sinks in that my boys are not going to be little forever. When I look at my Sweetie Pie and legitimately wonder how he got to be 4 already. And don’t even get me started on Boogaboo and him being one day shy of 20 months.

 These two boys? They have captured momma’s heart forever.

Yet, I find myself wishing days away sometimes. Rushing from one task to the other. Getting the boys busy with something else so I can do housework.

When really? I just need to stop, be still, & be with my boys. Really be with them. Enjoying the moment. Savoring the moment.

This has been my focus for the past few days. Tonight I actually caught myself living in the moment & savoring it.

Sweetie Pie was ready for bed. We’d done the bed time routine--bath, medicine, brush teeth. And then he started playing with a bucket. He was putting it on his head & pretending to be a monster. He wanted me to draw a monster face on the bucket. Normally, I probably would have forced the bedtime issue. Made him stop playing & go to bed.

But not tonight. I was savoring the moment.

So, instead? I grabbed a paper sack, cut some eye & arm holes, & drew a monster face on it. He LOVED it. He would growl at my husband & I & we’d scream like we were scared.

Then, here’s the part that melted my heart. He’d stop playing like he was a monster & say, “It’s okay. It’s just me.”

The sweetness. The innocence. The precious joy those few extra minutes up with mom & dad brought him. Brought me.

Savor the moment, Jami. Savor the moment.

The Blankie Bandit

Doesn’t every baby & toddler have a lovey? Both of my boys are/have been blankie boys & thumb suckers. They hold there blankets while sucking their thumbs. We broke Sweetie Pie of the habit about a month ago, and, once the blankie was gone, the thumb sucking stopped. But, every so often, I catch him hiding somewhere in the house taking a hit off of Boogaboo’s blankie.

I made sure it wasn’t a certain blanket they got attached to but rather a type of blanket. (And yes I know part of that was just me getting lucky because it worked.) The receiving blankets actually. You know the ones, right? The small, thin ones? I figured that would be ideal so we could have several with the logistics of laundry and all. I had hear horror stories of the ONE special blanket & getting it washed.

The past couple of weeks I have been finding said blankies ALL OVER THE HOUSE. One on the couch. Two on the floor in the living room. Still another in the kitchen. Maybe a couple in the hallway. And one on the train table. I was perplexed. You see, we only give Boogaboo a new blanket at night. Then he uses that blanket the next day as well. Night comes & he gets a fresh one. Simple enough right? So where were all of these blankies coming from? That’s what I couldn’t figure out.

Until…(picture it)

I followed Boogaboo down the hallway to his room the other day. He sundered with his little toddler waddle right over to his dresser, opened the exact drawer where we keep his blankies, grabbed a handful, shut the drawer, and meandered back down the hallway. Blankies in hand. Right to the living room where he handed a blankie to his brother, kept one for himself, and dropped the other 2 on the floor. Then he proceeded to go about his business of playing.

Mystery solved.

Mental note: Get those blankies moved to a different drawer of you don’t want to be washing blankies every day. Because you know. You have blankie boys.