Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Which Is Easier?

The age-old question. Who works harder? Moms who work outside of the home or moms who stay at home?

I have been in both positions, so I feel like a have somewhat of a unique perspective.  I worked teaching middle school before even getting married and having kids. I continued to work the first 3 years of Sweetie Pie’s life. And it was hard. exhausting. draining. My day was nonstop from the moment I got up until the moment I went to bed. I kept thinking how much better & easier it would be if I could be a stay at home mom. I could be with my boys all of the time. My house would always be clean. The laundry and dishes always done & put away. The boys would be eternally happy. Ahhh, the PERFECT set-up. And then out of the blue, the opportunity came. I was going to quite my teaching job & spend the days with my boys.

Then reality hit. Staying at home? EVERY. SINGLE. BIT. as hard. exhausting.draining. as working outside of the home. But in a different way. And, as SAHMs out there will tell you, I was totally delusional in my thinking. My house is messier now & I clean more often because we are always home. Making messes. Dropping crumbs. Tracking in mud. Dirtying dishes. Dragging out toys. When I worked my house was always messier on the weekends. Now it’s like those weekends everyday. And those demanding pesky adorable little kids? Well, they want your attention. So you don’t have all the time in the world to clean. And? Don’t get me wrong. I love being at home all the time with my boys. Love it. But, think about. I’m at home with my boys all of the time. It’s both incredible & nerve-racking. All at the same time.


I think sometimes we all suffer from the grass is greener syndrome.

I think neither kind of mom has it easier than the other.

I do think each being type of mom has it’s advantages & disadvantages. So, here I give you my charts. Tada! Are you impressed? (And this is, of course, how I see things. After all my blog, my opinion, right?)

Working Outside of the Home Mom



extra income

away from your kids/feeling like you missed things

break from kids

hard to find time to run errands

adult interaction

every minute of your day is planned

household duties shared more

Being a Stay at Home Mom



with your kids 24/7—don’t miss things

with your kids 24/7—no break

flexible schedule

might be expected to do all household duties

have time to go to the gym/workout

one income

have time to run errands

lack of adult interaction

no daycare expense

sometimes underappreciated

You may totally disagree with me. I’m cool with that. We are all entitled to our opinions. Like I said, these are just my thoughts & realizations after having walked in both shoes. And I’m sure there are things I haven’t thought of. What would you like to add to my lovely charts?

My conclusion? I realize not everyone has a choice on this issue. We were that way for years. But, me? I wouldn’t go back to work right now if you paid me. ::giggle::

But I’m fortunate enough to have that option. And I don’t fault any mom for any decision she makes (or is forced to make) on this particular issue.

And those moms that work at home? Well, I’ve not been there, but my guess is that position has its pros and cons as well.

*The word mom everywhere in this post could very easily be replaced by the word dad. I know they stay at home too.


  1. Great post. I agree with you- there are definite pros and cons to each side of parenting. I don't think one is easier than the other- the word MOM means work to me, no matter what you do for a living.

  2. I could have wrote this post myself! It's exactly how I feel I'm the same. I was a primary school teacher and worked after having Isaac. I was exhausted and felt like I was missing out so much. I gave up work when I had Lucas and I love it. It was the right decision for me but by God its hard too. Harder than I imagined. Alot of working mums and friends have been a little judgemental of me giving up work completely but I think mums should have the right to choose what is best for them. We should support each other because working or not, having kids and juggling everything that comes with it is bloody hard!